Big Yellow Taxi

My first fight with a New York cab driver came this afternoon.

It was actually my first experience ever hailing one in general which was much easier than dealing with the driver himself - although he would probably say the same about me.

I came to work this morning already hindered by a laundry list of chores and extensive plans to traverse the city's subway system several times and somehow try and sneak a two-hour lunch to finish all my personal errands.

Gloriously, my on-vacation boss called needing a package delivered to her home and offered that I simply take a taxi across town and expense the fare.

I eagerly agreed to her offer and used it a bit further as I kept the taxi afterward and rode it through town to running errands.

My first mistake was not looking for the Visa label. Having coughed up close to 4k's for the deposit on my new apartment (which I move into tonight) I had NO cash. Therefore my errands were imperative, not just to me, but for the cab driver to get paid anything.

I didn't want to mention I had no cash because that would anger him prematurely. Therefore as we arrived at my temp agency and I leapt from the cab and told him to wait before he had an option to diagree. When I returned with my paycheck he was pissed. When I told him we had another stop I swear little bursts of steam pulsed from his veined forehead and emerged out his ears.

I will say though, he was definitely a NYC cab driver. He designed a strategy of hitting each red light in the left lane. As cross-traffic congested the intersection on the green light he easily swirved around it to the left and raced down the right side of the street to the next red.

My fur-browed driver, who continually looked back at me in disgust - not only at this point because of my difficult behavior but also from my obnoxious phone conversation consisting regularly of 'oh my god!' or 'precious!' or 'no he dident! no he dident!' or maybe even a good 'hell to the no, hell to the no!'

When we arrived at the next stop he nearly went postal on me as I explained how I needed to run inside to deposit the checks before I could pay him.

I guess along Madison Avenue it's difficult to just wait on the street for people. Oops.

So I told him to make a lap around the block and deal.

He was pissed. I took off.

By the time I returned he was further irrate, stewing in his fury for ten minutes, and had words prepared for me as I approached the car.

I was in no mood to deal so I simply waved $40 dollars at him and asked for little back in change. His verbal assault was unhalting, so I pointed out the large tip I had included.

I could see the little wheels spinning in his head and he slowly did the math, and then he quickly shut his mouth, grinned a wide dumn grin, and waved graciously as he took back off into traffic.

Cross your fingers I don't get busted trying to expense it all.